Monday, April 16, 2012

I sang a favorite song in front of a crowd of strangers.... and it wasn't pretty

There is a reason it took 29 years to get me on stage to sing karaoke.  I can't sing.  I blame my parents for this one.  I think our entire house is tone deaf.  My dad's favorite joke about me growing up was if I was singing loud in the car he would ask me what I did with all that money he gave me for singing lessons.  For a while I just ignored it and was naive to think that maybe I wasn't that bad.    Maybe I was the only one in the family that wasn't tone deaf because I knew the rest of them couldn't sing a lick.  I was in middle school chorus after all.  (What do you mean everyone was either in chorus or band regardless of talent?)  I traveled with them and did concerts.  (Everyone did Casey.)

Somehow over the years it became painfully clear how much I lacked talent.  I now mouth my words in church and unless I am in the car alone or with my husband (I stopped caring about his opinion years ago) I sing in my head.  But, it is something that is outside of my comfort zone and something everyone needs to experience at least once in their life which is how it got on my bucket list.

In an effort to avoid future humiliation from people who I might run into again, I decided to do it in a different city, a different state, late enough in the evening that everyone would be drunk enough to not remember my name.  Here I come Savannah, GA hole in the wall karaoke bar!  Its time for me to man up.

So what will I sing for this occasion?  Something popular and upbeat that people know the words to.  Something without any high notes because I can't hit them.  Something that hopefully the audience knows so well that they will sing over me and my voice will just be one in the crowd rather then the one everyone can hear.  Hotel California I thought?  I know all the words, no high notes - eh, but its too slow.  A female rock hit by someone like Pat Benatar or Joan Jett?  My voice isn't raspy enough to pull that off.  Nothing I could come up with would work.  So I knew what I would have to do.  This little white girl is going to have to rap.  Luckily there is a rap song I know all the words to.  Snoop Dogg's 90's hit 'Gin and Juice' seemed like the best option.

I drove up to Savannah - maybe played the song once or 15 times to refresh my memory on the way up and met up with my good friend John.  We headed out to the bar and had a few beers.  Are you ready?  He asked after already completing his 2nd performance.  No - not yet.  Well I signed you up anyways so here is a shot, deal with it.  I took a shot or 3 to give me a little liquid courage which helped.  I did get on stage.  What 3 shots doesn't help with is memory.  I messed up words I knew.  On review of the video which was instantly destroyed I was slightly embarrassed by my performance but at least I can say I've done it.  Maybe now that I have gotten one under my belt I will sing it again, in another remote location where no one will recognize me.  Until then, I will take my embarrassment with stride and a serious hangover and feel like I have successfully accomplished crossing another item off my list.  I am now one step closer to completing my 30 before 30 challenge.

Oh and since I will not share a video with anyone... ever... here is a photo of me in the act.  Apparently there are no good photos possible of me singing.  All look like I just got my wisdom teeth out.

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