|Daddy's Girl from Day 1|
We have this tiny person that depends on us for everything. It is up to us to help give her the tools and knowledge to be successful in her own way. There are a lot of things about being a mom that I get to control. I can decide what foods to give her, what activities to have her involved in, what school she will attend and what she is going to wear everyday. (At least I can decide these things for now.) But what I can't control is what her likes and dislikes are, what personality she is going to develop, what she enjoys doing. There is a possibility that she doesn't have any of the same interests as me. There is a very real possibility that no matter how much we try to protect her and teach her right from wrong that she is going to make some really big mistakes.
I spent almost 9 months growing and protecting her. We spent the first 6 months of her life giving around the clock care and attention. I arranged my work schedule around breast feeding and pumping to make sure she had the very best nutrition possible. I spent 3 months of interviewing nannies to make sure she had the best care possible. I researched every school in the greater Carrollwood area to make sure she gets the best education possible. And I will spend the rest of my life making sure that she knows how much she is loved.
But even with doing all of that, it plays such a small role in her life's outcome. The reason why they call it a miracle, and the reason why becoming a parent is such a unique and special experience is because of how little you can actually control. It is out of our hands. God created Zoe to be one-of-a-kind. This bucket list item will be a life-long challenge of balance. How can I protect her while letting her fall? How can I support her while forcing her to do things on her own? How can I show her my unconditional love when she disappoints me? The childbirth item has been crossed off the list, but what comes next will take the rest of my lifetime to accomplish. I can't wait to see where this one takes us and the woman God created her to be.
I wrote all about my experience of pregnancy here: http://9monthhangover.blogspot.com/ Some people LOVE being pregnant. I am not one of those people. But I would do it all over again and again to have Zoe.
I'm only 1 year into being a mom and have already had some pretty comical and memorable moments that I didn't want to forget. I'm keeping an online diary of those moments here: http://zoediaries.blogspot.com/